“Went to the mayor’s S.O.S (Save Our Sons) event today & still haven’t been able to shake how many names I knew on the list of murdered men in NOLA. Not only did I know them, but I taught them. The latest one was buried today. You may ask why I came back to the city, but THEY are the reason why…enough is enough & I’m giving my ALL to put an end to it.”
This has been my Facebook status every since I attend the City of New Orleans’ S.O.S (Save Our Sons) Campaign. My days and my nights have been filled with anger, slight depression, extreme hurt, and any other emotion that a woman in despair typically feels. I’m not sure how the summit impacted the hundreds of New Orleanians in attendance, but as for me it was a stark reminder of days as a High School Math teacher in the city’s public school system.
You see…there was a small tribute in the summit to the 140+ men and boys that have lost their lives in the city since January 2011. From that list alone, I personally knew 6 victims—with the latest murder occurring just days before the summit. My hurt did not begin nor end at the summit…you see I’ve been hurting for these young men since I started teaching in 2006. I’ve lost so many students to violence, it’s hard for me to even keep count.
It’s hard…it’s hard…it’s hard
It’s hard for not just me, but for every single teacher, staff member, and student in that building. It’s hard to know that when you say “Be safe. Take care. I love you.” to each of your students at the end of the day, you’re doing it not just because it sounds good but it’s your hidden praryer that whatever transcendent power they believe in may protect them, and have mercy on them so you can spend just one more day trying to expose them to a better life—one without senseless violence, one without jail bars and orange suits, one that only a solid education can help them attain.
I did not always think or feel like this as teacher, but I vividly remember the day that these feeling started. I was working with the students with some test-prep materials—because that’s all we do in low-performing schools, right? Prep, prep, prep…and continue the cycle of low expectations and prep work..I’ll save that for another post—that focused on making logical predictions, reading graphs, etc. The specific question and graph was centered on “Life Expectancy in the United States.” The graph started in 1910 and increased in 20 year increments. The graph showed an increase in life expectancy from 14 years old all the way to 80+ years old. As a young, novice teacher I followed the teaching-concepts very closely, and I knew this problem was screaming “relate to the life of the learner.” And so I did. We discussed why life expectancy was 14 in the 1920’s, and what variables and factors might contribute to the increase throughout the years. The students were engaged, they’re answers were quite thoughtful……and then it happened. I called on one my male students. He was a relatively well-liked child. He was an over-age, under-credited student, who had numerous run-ins with the city’s criminal justice system; nonetheless he was in my class everyday because he said he was ready to do better. So I scanned the room, looked him straight in the eyes and said “_____, what do you think the life expectancy will be in 2015?” He laughed, smiled, and said, “You want me to give you the right answer or my answer?” Confused and a tad bit naïve I said, “both.” He proceeded to answer the question correctly and explained his rationale and the steps he took to find the textbook answer, BUT THEN….with a stern face he made a statement that has haunted me ever since. He said….”Shit, if I make it to see 19 I’m doing good.”
It hit me. My approach was all wrong. I preached college to each and every one of my students, talked about what life would probably be like once they hit 30…and never once realized that my vision of them in the future was only MY vision. It was hard for them to see the same picture, because they couldn’t see tomorrow.
How do you change that? I wish I had the answer.
From that day forward, I worked hard to help move my students from the “right now” mindset to the “what could be” mindset. It worked for a handful, and I wished I could’ve done more for the ones who I couldn’t reach.
Mayor Landrieu quoted a statistic from a report that stated a student at the High School I taught at was more likely to be killed in the streets of New Orleans than a soldier in Iraq. If for no other reason than that…..I AM COMMITTED TO SAVING OUR SONS.
When you save our sons, you save our daughters, our families, our city! I will not forget. I will not give up!
-Troave' Profice